My dresser and I have the hots for the new rugby ace Danny Cipriani. We have a shrine in my dressing room - press photos of him on the field looking swarthy and fit, and snaps of our boy emerging from Mayfair nightclubs, looking sexy and dishevelled.

Rodents can come across as being quite vacant in the personality stakes

A lot of gay men have a lot of sex. That's what we do. But I've stopped all that-the revolving door into my bedroom. Promiscuity. That was of its day, really.

The good thing about getting older is that, as you become less attractive, so you have less desire to go out and conquer everyone you see

My dresser and I have the hots for the new rugby ace Danny Cipriani. We have a shrine in my dressing room - press photos of him on the field looking swarthy and fit, and snaps of our boy emerging from Mayfair nightclubs, looking sexy and dishevelled.

I think Australians like a bit of vulgarity

I thought a dignified thing to do would be to live in the country by the time I'm 50 and write books