Sometimes its nice when people you love need you.

You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

Eventually, though, I came to the conclusion that I was the male equivalent of a Toyota Camry. You know: No one ever says, "I have to have a Toyota Camry." But most people who spend some time in a Camry start to like it. "It's pretty reliable," they think. "It doesn't have a lot of problems, and it's not bad to look at. You know what? I'd probably prefer a nicer car. But I can live with a Camry.

[The] majority of the girls working there had major emotional problems. And not cries-too-much emotional problems; more like stabs-her-boyfriend-with-a-steak-knife-then-falls-into-a-corner-and-starts-whispering-to-herself emotional problems.

The Internet has really democratized ideas. There are no real gatekeepers any more, because if you have a great idea, and you put it online, people will find it and it will get in front of who it needs to get in front of.

That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.

When it's asshole-tightening time, that's when you see what people are made of. Or at least what their asshole is made of.