You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

You go ahead. I'd rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds' urine.

You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

I feel like if I'm going to give you a book about my dad, then I really want to give you my dad, because he is interesting and he is funny and if you're buying a book about him, I don't want you to have to sit through stuff that's not him.

Writing a book is incredibly pleasurable, but very solitary. You have total control, but sometimes that can drive you insane.

That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.

The Internet has really democratized ideas. There are no real gatekeepers any more, because if you have a great idea, and you put it online, people will find it and it will get in front of who it needs to get in front of.