[The] majority of the girls working there had major emotional problems. And not cries-too-much emotional problems; more like stabs-her-boyfriend-with-a-steak-knife-then-falls-into-a-corner-and-starts-whispering-to-herself emotional problems.
Justin HalpernWhat Im trying to say is that what makes you up, its always been around, and it always will be around. So really the only thing you should worry about is the part you're at right now. Where you got a body and a head and all that bullshit. Just worry about living, dying is the easy part.
Justin HalpernI kind of came to the conclusion after I did finally get married that love and relationships are just a series of horrific losses with hopefully one win.
Justin HalpernThat woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.
Justin HalpernYou go ahead. I'd rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds' urine.
Justin HalpernOn My Last-Place Finish in the 50-Yard Dash During Little League Tryouts “It kinda looked like you were being attacked by a bunch of bees or something. Then when I saw the fat kid with the watch who was timing you start laughing…. Well, I’ll just say it’s never a good sign when a fat kid laughs at you.
Justin Halpern