On My First Driving Lesson “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?…Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that’s not moving makes you an asshole.

That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.

You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

I just want silence... Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more.

The Internet has really democratized ideas. There are no real gatekeepers any more, because if you have a great idea, and you put it online, people will find it and it will get in front of who it needs to get in front of.

The thing with Bill Shatner is he brings something unique to everything he does. He's not the obvious choice for anything, but he always brings something special to it.

No, you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty. Life will get mad at them, don't worry.