I kind of came to the conclusion after I did finally get married that love and relationships are just a series of horrific losses with hopefully one win.

That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.

The Internet has really democratized ideas. There are no real gatekeepers any more, because if you have a great idea, and you put it online, people will find it and it will get in front of who it needs to get in front of.

I kind of came to the conclusion after I did finally get married that love and relationships are just a series of horrific losses with hopefully one win.

The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.

You go ahead. I'd rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds' urine.

The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.