If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage.... No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.
Justin HalpernI just wanted to compile these stories about growing up with my father and I wanted people to be able to enjoy them individually, but also the entire book as a whole.
Justin HalpernOn My First Driving Lesson โFirst things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?โฆOkay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car thatโs not moving makes you an asshole.
Justin HalpernWhy would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.
Justin Halpern