You worry too much. Eat some bacon...what? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon.

You worry too much. Eat some bacon...what? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon.

Eventually, though, I came to the conclusion that I was the male equivalent of a Toyota Camry. You know: No one ever says, "I have to have a Toyota Camry." But most people who spend some time in a Camry start to like it. "It's pretty reliable," they think. "It doesn't have a lot of problems, and it's not bad to look at. You know what? I'd probably prefer a nicer car. But I can live with a Camry.

I kind of came to the conclusion after I did finally get married that love and relationships are just a series of horrific losses with hopefully one win.

The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.

Writing a book is incredibly pleasurable, but very solitary. You have total control, but sometimes that can drive you insane.

There is no definitive guidebook on how to pick the right partner, and even if there were, I'm way too dumb to write it.