Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess.

The real end of the world is the destruction of the spirit; the other kind depends on the insignificant attempt to see whether after such a destruction the world can go on.

A pun, though despicable in itself, can be the noblest vehicle of an artistic intention by serving as the abbreviation of a wittyview. It can be a social criticism in the form of an epigram.

There are writers who can express in as little as twenty pages what I occasionally need as many as two for.

To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all.

Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.

Ingratitude is often disproportionate to the benefaction received.