Do not learn more than you absolutely need to get through life.

Nowadays the thief cannot be distinguished from his victim. Neither has any valuable objects on him.

There is a shortage of clerks. Everyone is going into journalism.

Social reform is the desperate decision to remove corns from a person suffering from cancer.

A good writer does not receive anywhere near the number of poison-pen letters that is commonly assumed. Among a hundred jackassesthere are not ten who will admit to being jackasses, and at most one who will put it in writing.

If someone calls me vain and mean, I know that he trusts me and has something to confess to me.

Family life is an encroachment on private life.