Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

Does anybody who gave up smoking to save a pound a week have a pound at the end of the week? Not on your life.

The rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you.

a perfectly managed Christmas correct in every detail is, like basted inside seams and letters answered by return, a sure sign of someone who hasn't enough to do.

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

I cannot for the life of me see why the umpires, the only two people on a cricket field who are not going to get grass stains on their knees, are the only two people allowed to wear dark trousers.

I wouldn't say when you've seen one Western you've seen the lot; but when you've seen the lot you get the feeling you've seen one.