The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

I wouldn't say when you've seen one Western you've seen the lot; but when you've seen the lot you get the feeling you've seen one.

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

Things a mother should know: how to comfort a son without exactly saying Daddy was wrong.

In my next life I want to be a pessimist. Then other people could spend all their time cheering me up.

Newish friends, if they get ghastly, can be weighed and found wanting, but you'd never do a thing like that to old ones; their terrible habits are just part of the universe.

The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.