The rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you.

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

As anyone who has ever fallen foul of an airport, a conventional hospital or a bad restaurant knows, misery is made up of little things.

I blame Rousseau, myself. "Man is born free", indeed. Man is not born free, he is born attached to his mother by a cord and is not capable of looking after himself for at least seven years (seventy in some cases).

As I look around the West End these days, it seems to me that outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in.

In our society mothers take the place elsewhere occupied by the Fates, the System, Negroes, Communism or Reactionary Imperialist Plots; mothers go on getting blamed until they're eighty, but shouldn't take it personally.

Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally.