There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

I am all for people having their heart in the right place; but the right place for a heart is not inside the head.

It has long been my boast that I can read or eat anything. But unfortunately, although I eat like a Hoover, I read so slowly that I am always on the smart book three years after everyone else has finished.

Does anybody who gave up smoking to save a pound a week have a pound at the end of the week? Not on your life.

I used to think the only use for sport was to give small boys something else to kick besides me.

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

People get a bad impression of it [the English climate] by continually trying to treat it as if it was a bank clerk, who ought to be on time on Tuesday next, instead of philosophically seeing it as a painter, who may do anything so long as you don't try to predict what.