One reason you are stricken when your parents die is that the audience you've been aiming at all your life - shocking it, pleasing it - has suddenly left the theater.

It is a pity that so often the only way to treat girls like people seems to be to treat them like boys.

Hats divide generally into three classes: offensive hats, defensive hats, and shrapnel.

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

I used to think the only use for sport was to give small boys something else to kick besides me.

Whereas a lot of men used to ask for conversation when they really wanted sex, nowadays they often feel obliged to ask for sex even when they really want conversation.

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?