One reason you are stricken when your parents die is that the audience you've been aiming at all your life - shocking it, pleasing it - has suddenly left the theater.

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for it.

In our society mothers take the place elsewhere occupied by the Fates, the System, Negroes, Communism or Reactionary Imperialist Plots; mothers go on getting blamed until they're eighty, but shouldn't take it personally.

It has long been my boast that I can read or eat anything. But unfortunately, although I eat like a Hoover, I read so slowly that I am always on the smart book three years after everyone else has finished.

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.

Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally.