One reason you are stricken when your parents die is that the audience you've been aiming at all your life - shocking it, pleasing it - has suddenly left the theater.

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

I cannot for the life of me see why the umpires, the only two people on a cricket field who are not going to get grass stains on their knees, are the only two people allowed to wear dark trousers.

And what would happen to my illusion that I am a force for order in the home if I wasn't married to the only man north of the Tiber who is even untidier than I am?

In my next life I want to be a pessimist. Then other people could spend all their time cheering me up.

I am all for people having their heart in the right place; but the right place for a heart is not inside the head.