The Life and Soul, the man who will never go home while there is one man, woman or glass of anything not yet drunk.

Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally.

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

[On Malcolm Muggeridge:] He thinks he was knocked off his horse by God, like St. Paul on the road to Damascus. His critics think he simply fell off it from old age.

In my next life I want to be a pessimist. Then other people could spend all their time cheering me up.

People get a bad impression of it [the English climate] by continually trying to treat it as if it was a bank clerk, who ought to be on time on Tuesday next, instead of philosophically seeing it as a painter, who may do anything so long as you don't try to predict what.

Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they'll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.