I blame Rousseau, myself. "Man is born free", indeed. Man is not born free, he is born attached to his mother by a cord and is not capable of looking after himself for at least seven years (seventy in some cases).

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

Hats divide generally into three classes: offensive hats, defensive hats, and shrapnel.

It's a pity more men are not bastards by birth instead of vocation.

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

As I look around the West End these days, it seems to me that outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in.