I blame Rousseau, myself. "Man is born free", indeed. Man is not born free, he is born attached to his mother by a cord and is not capable of looking after himself for at least seven years (seventy in some cases).

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

Does anybody who gave up smoking to save a pound a week have a pound at the end of the week? Not on your life.

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why.

I cannot for the life of me see why the umpires, the only two people on a cricket field who are not going to get grass stains on their knees, are the only two people allowed to wear dark trousers.

In my next life I want to be a pessimist. Then other people could spend all their time cheering me up.

In our society mothers take the place elsewhere occupied by the Fates, the System, Negroes, Communism or Reactionary Imperialist Plots; mothers go on getting blamed until they're eighty, but shouldn't take it personally.