Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

I am all for people having their heart in the right place; but the right place for a heart is not inside the head.

Newish friends, if they get ghastly, can be weighed and found wanting, but you'd never do a thing like that to old ones; their terrible habits are just part of the universe.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed, the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director face on).

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for it.

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

The Life and Soul, the man who will never go home while there is one man, woman or glass of anything not yet drunk.