In our society mothers take the place elsewhere occupied by the Fates, the System, Negroes, Communism or Reactionary Imperialist Plots; mothers go on getting blamed until they're eighty, but shouldn't take it personally.

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

Does anybody who gave up smoking to save a pound a week have a pound at the end of the week? Not on your life.

There's comfort to an awful old dressing-gown a pretty peignoir is powerless to provide, and aging bra elastic, is, I suspect, as near to liberation as most women ever get.

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

I blame Rousseau, myself. "Man is born free", indeed. Man is not born free, he is born attached to his mother by a cord and is not capable of looking after himself for at least seven years (seventy in some cases).

A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.