The worst thing about being lied to, is realizing they don't think you're worth the truth.
If you're my bestfriend I shouldn't have to ask you to lie for me.
The thing about impressing your girlfriend is that when you do something like a private island in Fiji, it's all downhill from that point.
I think women go crazy for a reason. It's not like it just happens.
All men hate the nagging.
How the hell do you wake up dead?