I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate.

When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together.

I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years old, that can already speak fluent Spanish.

They say that moving is one of the most stressful things in life. Death in the family is the second most stressful, and moving your dead spouse is the third.

I am whelmed, and not overly whelmed, just whelmed about a lot of facets in life - just how fragile life is and the different challenges you have in life, phobias about things.

The hardest thing about moving to California from Connecticut was just missing my family. If I went back, it would be just because I was homesick.

Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.