You lose anyone, there’s no replacing them. What you need to get is that’s precious, you get to keep that, you don’t want to replace it. That doesn’t mean you can’t find something else just as good.

Then she declared loudly, "Smoke break!" and everyone's eyes came to us, some of them shocked seeing as these days you could light up a doobie and no one would blink but if you lit up a smoke, you courted being publicly stoned to death.

Life's a roller coaster. Best damn ride in the park. You don't close your eyes, hold on and wait for it to be over, babe. You keep your eyes open, lift your hands straight up in the air and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.

I can’t function around a man if I know his ability to give pleasure.

I don’t intend to use beer as a crutch and drink until I pass out. So advice, keep an eye on that so you can get in there and get yourself drunk sex before it turns unpretty and drunk sex ends with me puking and / or passing out during the act.

Seriously, I don’t care if feminists hunt me down and burn me at the stake, that man crooked his finger at me, I’d follow him into a bank and rob it at his side.

I prefer your smiles and laughter, wife, but there are far worse things than your tears wetting my skin.