I'm not going to work in a place where I can't eat donuts.

You got one life, never use it just to breathe.

I don’t intend to use beer as a crutch and drink until I pass out. So advice, keep an eye on that so you can get in there and get yourself drunk sex before it turns unpretty and drunk sex ends with me puking and / or passing out during the act.

Wherever you are, however you got there, if it's good, you're meant to be there either because you earned it or life led you there and you were smart enough to hold on.

Truth, honesty, perseverance, strength, love of all kinds and forgiveness are all beautiful, Tack. The most beautiful stories ever told are the most difficult to take.

Seriously, I don’t care if feminists hunt me down and burn me at the stake, that man crooked his finger at me, I’d follow him into a bank and rob it at his side.

I prefer your smiles and laughter, wife, but there are far worse things than your tears wetting my skin.