Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists.

Living in Pakistan, you didn't have a sense of how huge and varied America was, geographically.

I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity.

On stage I just have to be myself. In acting you have to be so many other people.

Philosophy is problem-solving. There's a philosophical problem, and then you try to solve it by approaching it from different angles and seeing what way works. That's what comedy is: you have a topic and you try to just hit it as many different ways as you can.

I love, love, love the street-cart food. Gyros are like a meat-flavored fruit roll-up. A meat roll-up.

The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and there's a lot of violence and corruption.