I have a little nursery rhyme for all you children out there, something even the Godfather can understand. 'You can prance and you can dance, but when it comes to relations, keep it in your pants.

Canada is lacking two things. It's true. Don't make me say it again. The first is Olympic Heroes [...] The second thing that Canada is lacking is Memorial Day, which is today by the way, where we in the States celebrate our war heroes by having barbeques . And I realize here in Canada you can't have barbeques because you'd probably be attacked by a moose, or caribou, or even a grizzly.

I wasn't surprised at all. In fact, I thought, why stop there? Why not add the Big Show, or Chris Jericho, or the whole state of Nebraska for that matter? And don't you think a wrestling ring is a little old school, Lilian? Why not put the match in a shark tank, with real live sharks? Hungry sharks! And the only way to beat your opponent is to stuff him down a shark's throat, and pin the shark. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Your Olympic Hero is scheduled to wrestle a match against the man they call the big red retard; not that I have anything against retarded people cause I don't. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of retarded fans out there that admire and respect your Olympic Hero, and I wish them well.

Hey, I drank milk that was a DAY past its expiration date. Now THAT is extreme!

You do not boo an Olympic Gold Medalist. I'm the best in the world. I came here for you. You don't boo me.

Children love me, dammit!