New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become.

Humor is an almost physiological response to fear.

My ancestors came over from Germany about the time of the Civil War and one of them lost a leg and went back to Germany.

I don't think there would be many jokes, if there weren't constant frustration and fear and so forth. It's a response to bad troubles like crime.

The world is full of people who are very clever at seeming much smarter than they really are.

That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.

They say, you know, about evolution, it surely happened because their fossil record shows that. Look, my body and your body are miracles of design. Scientists are pretending they have the answer as how we got this way when natural selection couldn't possibly have produced such machines.