Reserve your abuse for your true friends.

I think the way IBM has embraced the open source philosophy has been quite astonishing, but gratifying. I hope they'll do very well with it.

You don't have to know the whole language to use it usefully, you can do baby talk, you can do grown up talk, you can cuss in it, you can write poetry, you can be a playwright, is sort of the idea.

People get annoyed when you try to debug them.

I just hope I'm never promoted to the level of my incontinence.

Perl was designed to work more like a natural language. It's a little more complicated but there are more shortcuts, and once you learned the language, it's more expressive.

I'd make people say 'use Fork;' if I thought I could get away with it.