This job of playing God is a little too big for me. Nevertheless, someone has to do it, so I'll try my best to fake it.

Guilty as charged. Perl is happily ugly, and happily derivative.

The camel has evolved to be relatively self-sufficient. On the other hand, the camel has not evolved to smell good. Neither has Perl.

Somebody out there is going to do something that's far more surprising than anything that I would do. I was surprised by the whole web thing in the first place.

A Perl program is correct if it gets the job done before your boss fires you.

There's many scripting languages in the world, Perl is a little bit special because it is based more on some ideas from the way natural languages work.

The world has become a larger place. The universe has been expanding, and Perl's been expanding along with the universe.