Sometimes love makes you selfish. Sometimes it makes you stupid. Sometimes it reminds you why you love your gun.

Maybe they know what I know, that the true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs. Sometimes four inches will do the job, but to be really sure, I like to have six.

"I was just offered a contract on your life, for enough money to make it worth my while." It was my turn to be quiet. "Did you take it?" "Would I be calling you if I had?" "Maybe," I said. He laughed. "True, but I'm not going to take it." "Why not?" "Friendship." "Try again," I said. "I figure I'll get to kill more people guarding you. If I take the contract, I only get to kill you." "Comforting."

It would be nice if you’d stop almost killing me because you don’t want to screw other peo­ple.

He will not let you come barging in to his world like the proverbial bull in the china shop.

There are only two things you can do when you're dressed like Barbie Does Bondage; you can be embarrassed or you can be aggressive. Guess what my choice was.

Sometimes it's not the optimist you need, but another pessimist to walk beside you.