When you see yourself quoted in print and you’re sorry you said it, it suddenly becomes a misquotation.

When a New Yorker looks like he has a suntan, it's probably rust.

The devil could change. He was once an angel and may be evolving still.

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

Home is where the college student home for the holidays isn't.