As the farmer said, "I'm not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine.

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.

Many an optimist has become rich simply by buying out a pessimist.

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.