When a person puts his best foot forward and gets it stepped on, that's life.

Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

May your happiest days of the past be your saddest days of your future.

The machinery of government is a vast series of interlocking hierarchies riddled through and through with incompetence.

You could generally inform a real close friend: when you have manufactured a idiot of on your own he does not truly feel you've finished a long lasting job.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.