Many live by their wits but few by their wit.

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

When you see yourself quoted in print and you’re sorry you said it, it suddenly becomes a misquotation.

Most hierarchies are nowadays so cumbered with rules and traditions, and so bound in by public laws, that even high employees do not have to lead anyone anywhere, in the sense of pointing out the direction and setting the pace. They simply follow precedents, obey regulations, and move at the head of the crowd. Such employees lead only in the sense that the curved wooden figurehead leads the ship .

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

The modern child will answer you back before you've said anything.