When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.
The reason crime doesn't pay is that when it does, it is called a more respectable name.