Don't worry about middle age: you'll outgrow it.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.

No committee could ever come up with anything as revolutionary as a camel - anything as practical and as perfectly designed to perform effectively under such difficult conditions.

The machinery of government is a vast series of interlocking hierarchies riddled through and through with incompetence.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.