When I was 6, I saw a commercial that Jessica Simpson was in and that was the first time I felt my little heart flutter.

I still have imaginary friends who I talk to in my head.

I try not to sleep with every girl I see, but it's hard!

If I said what I was really thinking about this f**ked up world, the government would assassinate me like all the other people they've killed.

This New York thing is being blown out of proportion. Who gives a **** about New York when elephants are being killed?

When I was 6, I saw a commercial that Jessica Simpson was in and that was the first time I felt my little heart flutter.

I got caught kissing my dad's ex-girlfriend - at his wedding!