When I was 6, I saw a commercial that Jessica Simpson was in and that was the first time I felt my little heart flutter.

I haven't shaved my private parts, but I dyed them once for a laugh! They looked more ginger, though!

I got caught kissing my dad's ex-girlfriend - at his wedding!

My perfect girl would be pretty mad, but one you can have a conversation with. No one can be too mad for me, the madder the better. I love a crazy chick!

If I fancy a girl, I'll tell her. I'll say: 'You're fit.

This New York thing is being blown out of proportion. Who gives a **** about New York when elephants are being killed?

I have a rude thought every three seconds!