Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Today's comedian has a cross to bear that he built himself. A comedian of the older generation did an act and he told the audience, This is my act. Today's comic is not doing an act. The audience assumes he's telling the truth. What is truth today may be a damn lie next week.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

I want to perform an unnatural act.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is just one big telephone company.