If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was.

Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.

Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.

Every tribe needs a good front man to sell the program. Who better to convince the Middle East to give up the oil, than a brown man with a Muslim name?

Now a Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded as descended from that tribe. That's what it says in the dictionary; but you and I know what a Jew is - One Who Killed Our Lord. And although there should be a statute of limitations for that crime, it seems that those who neither have the actions nor the gait of Christians, pagan or not, will bust us out, unrelenting dues, for another deuce.

Anyone who has two shirts when someone has none is not a christian.

Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.