Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

Certain things are complete superstition and have no validity at all in the Bible. Yeah. They're just the antithesis of everything that is correct intellectually.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

The reason I'm in this business, I assume all performers are -- it's Look at me, Ma! It's acceptance, you know -- Look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma, look at me, Ma. And if your mother watches, you'll show off till you're exhausted; but if your mother goes, Ptshew!

I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.

Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.