I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.

I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.

Koolaid is goyish. All Drake's Cakes are goyish. Pumpernickel is Jewish, and, as you know, white bread is very goyish. Instant potatoes - goyish. Black cherry soda's very Jewish. Macaroons are very Jewish - very Jewish cake. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime Jell-O is goyish. Lime soda is very goyish. Trailer parks are so goyish that Jews won't go near them.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy.

Anyone who has two shirts when someone has none is not a christian.