I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.
When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.
If there was absolute freedom, people would run over babies and charge admission.
Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.