The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

My only challenge was to tell my truth, man... figure out what I had to say. These days, it's not enough to boost that roomful of strangers. The young comic spends all their time trying to sound different from the million other jokesters grabbing for the mic.

Sex and obscenity are not synonymous.

I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.