The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.

The thing with Catholicism, the same as all religions, is that it teaches what should be, which seems rather incorrect. This is what should be. Now, if you're taught to live up to a what should be that never existed - only an occult superstition, no proof of this should be - then you can sit on a jury and indict easily, you can cast the first stone, you can burn Adolf Eichmann, like that!

TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.

It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.

I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.

Once you take away the struggle for food, clothing and shelter, work is the one four letter word that offends everyone.

When you're eight years old, nothing is any of your business.