Branch Rickey once said of me that I was a man with an infinite capacity for immediately making a bad thing worse.

In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading. The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you.

What are we at the park for except to win? I'd trip my mother. I'd help her up, brusher her off, tell her I'm sorry. But mother don't make it to third.

And luck? I've always said about Dizzy Dean that if the roof fell in and Diz was sitting in the middle of the room, everybody else would be buried in the debris and a gumdrop would drop into his mouth.

I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.

Buy a steak for a player on another club after the game, but don't even speak to him on the field. Get out there and beat them to death.

If you don't win, you're going to be fired. If you do win, you've only put off the day you're going to be fired.