Guilt didn't put any butter on the bread of life.

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

If you are reading a large newspaper, all spread out on the table, your cat will come and sit on the very paragraph you are reading, the talented cat draping her tail with miraculous precision over the very line you're not finished with.

New York City is like the appetizer table at a Jewish wedding, loaded with salt and spice and cholesterol and flavor, with a waiter holding out pleasure in his right hand and indigestion in his left. If you've got the bucks, this burg has the bangs.

To find his own salvation, a man must first find the fool locked inside himself and set it free.

No means everything to a dog, nothing to a cat.

Guilt didn't put any butter on the bread of life.