Guilt didn't put any butter on the bread of life.

A cat is a purring parcel of paradox, a cunning collection of contradictions. A cat is lazy and busy, dainty and savage, affectionate and aloof, greedy and finicky, sound asleep in one instant, and awake and stalking in the next. A cat is a limp puddle of softness, surrounding a steel-hard and ever-alert set of muscles. ... A cat has the face of a pansy flower, and is just as velvety. A cat holds infinity in her eyes, and your heart in her front paws.

From talk radio to insult radio wasn't really that much of a leap.

No means everything to a dog, nothing to a cat.

who hasn't slept in an empty bed sometimes, longing for the embrace of another person on the achingly short trip to the grave?

Guilt didn't put any butter on the bread of life.

A cat is better than you are, more honest, more graceful, smarter for her size, better coordinated, and infinitely more beautiful.