Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.

Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.

Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.

I don't think anybody can really sit down and decide that their mission in life is to make people think. I think their mission in life is to leave people alone!

You know it's very difficult to be an actor, and to have people depending on you to say the right line, at the right time, and to not be able to hear your cues! I can't tell you how many times I would've had to have said What? if I didn't have my hearing aids. So my hearing aids are a life saver, and they allow me to practice my craft.

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.