How our government works... it doesn't.

I like college football, but I'm a huge college basketball fan. I could sit and watch every game of March Madness and be happy. That could be a vacation.

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

When I was a kid, you ate, and you drank, and you passed out and nobody woke you up and said, 'Let's go shopping.

It's a shame cars don't run on cognitive dissonance.

The fear of health care changing is beyond belief. Like there's a way to make the system worse. Really?

FEMA I always thought was a bone here in your ass.