You got to be just stupid to not be focused on alternative energy.

If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .

These ballot initiatives remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so long as that dream doesn't make Midwesterners feel icky!

I like my friends because they make me feel normal, even though I'm not.

I've been very lucky. There are guys I know who are really terrific in this business of stand-up who have not gotten the recognition they deserve. And it's nice, if you've put in the time, to achieve that recognition.

Stupidity really gets me going, when it's just plain stupid, obvious stupidity.

The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine.