I was home alone watching George Bush speak on television. So it was just really the two of us. And as I listened to him, I realized, that one of us... was nuts! And for the first time ever, I went, 'Wow, it's not me!'

I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic.

I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going do! Don't tell me what you're going to do. Just say "I'd really like to do solar energy but I'm not going to be able to. I really want to dig holes everywhere in the country but I really won't be able to do it because people seem to think that maybe my water will be screwed up."

If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation

The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling "The British are coming! The British are coming!"

There's a whole group of Christians who believe the individual is more important, but in the end I don't think that's what Christ was talking about.