If you want to get an audience quiet, just say "abortion" and everybody shuts up and the tension in the room is spectacular.

I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.

You got to be just stupid to not be focused on alternative energy.

The only thing dumber than a Democrat or a Republican is when those pricks work together. You see, in our two-party system, the Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republicans are the party of bad ideas. It usually goes something like this. A Republican will stand up in Congress and say, 'I've got a really bad idea.' And a Democrat will immediately jump to his feet and declare, 'And I can make it sh*ttier.'

You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal.

"Equestrian", by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought Brokeback Mountain should have been called Two Equestrians.

I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been.